Pick Your Battles

Dillon and Friends.

One of my passions is writing, which led to a children's book series explaining disabilities to children. Before my health declined, I loved reading to children in their classrooms. Children are naturally curious, so it's expected for them to wonder why I talk and walk funny. In kid-friendly language, I explain I was in my mommy's belly too long and my brain was crushed in her birth canal. I proclaim I was born with a boo boo on my brain, and ask if they have boo boo's. This tears down the wall of discomfort from the children as they find a commonality with me. Communication does wonders!

Think about how great the world would be if we communicated with people who are different from us? Both parties would benefit from the interactions. Recently, I met two ladies with Cerebral Palsy and it was so nice to share experience which are unique to C.P.. I know the three of us have a precious friendship ahead.

Of course, we have all had our share of interacting with people who discredit and patronize us with or without physical disabilities. Sometimes, most times, it hurts. We wallow in self-pity for very good reason. As we mature, we learn to pick our battles. When I walk into elementary schools, kids laugh and make fun of me... it doesn't bother me because I know once I explain my boo boo on my brain, they will understand.

However, when I am treated differently by adults who should know better, that's another story. And that is what Advocacy is about. It's standing up for yourself when you are treated differently because of your disability. Most times, patience and education is all that is needed. But when people continue to discriminate against you, you don't have to take it. This website will describe ways to effectively advocate, and when to just let it go. Consider the source. Are they interested in knowing you? Or are they just being cruel? Most importantly, are you being denied participation in society? That's a battle worth fighting.

Choosing your battles applies to every part of your life. Fighting for your marriage is a battle to take on, as well as fighting for a promotion at work. But if someone who you can do without causes you stress, maybe you should just walk away.

I introduced this blog with my book series because I just got off the phone with my publisher who has not paid me my commission in several months. I got so upset, I decided to let go of that relationship. Instead of emailing daily to remind him I have not been paid, I decided to tell him to donate my commission to a disability organization. Yes, I need the money I am owed, but my peace of mind is worth more to me.

Choose your battles. Stand up for yourself. Do whatever is best for you.