My Christmas started at midnight with all these texts about what a LIAR I am, wanting people to think I am alone on Christmas, and my Facebook shows me having a great time with friends. I explained that was LAST year, and I am alone except Cathy will be here from noon to 2pm (just long enough for me to get wasted at happy hour). The person went on and on about how I want people to feel sorry for me, I embrace my depression, on and on and on. I took Xanax earlier in the day thinking I couldn't take them today with Cathy here, so I slept after talking with a couple friends. Because I didn't answer the phone, I was called a coward and liar... yeah, Merry Christmas. Plus, I was told I guilt my friends into kissing my ass.
No, I share my depression and anxiety because of ignorant people like HIM! And I see all these posts about reaching out for help if you are depressed... HELLO! THIS IS HOW PEOPLE REACT! If I wasn't strong in my relationship with Jesus, his comments would have pushed me over the edge from depression to being actively suicidal.
The best gift I can give anyone who is struggling with the holidays is to isolate and don't tell people. They can't handle it. If they ask how you are, say "I'm fine".
By the way, this IS the day to celebrate the birth of Jesus. My gift to Him is to share His gifts with me. I am starting a Christian devotional blog today, so this blog can focus on mental health and disability issues. For those of you wanting to start an in depth Bible study with easy to understand and applicable posts for each day, I will launch the new blog January 1st. I hope you join me.
Merry Christmas, and take care of yourself.
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