Disabilities for Life

My health is declining faster as I approach 50. Here goes my list of symptoms experienced daily: because of Cerebral Palsy (C.P.) my feet roll out while my toes turn in so walking is becoming increasingly difficult. I fall much more frequently. There's no doubt a walker is in my future. Endurance becomes painful due to asthma and constant pressure around my chest. It all makes sense since the abuse my body has suffered from the C.P. brain damage. Adding up my lungs degenerating, menopausal hot flashes and PTSD anxiety attacks, merely walking does me in.
Daily, I have at least one Crohn's attack where it happens so fast, I fail to reach a toilet in time. There are days when I lose my balance trying to get to my toilet, and run into a wall. I am covered in bruises, aching constantly from falling. My muscles tighten, shake and spasm randomly generating loss of body control, dumping coffee, difficulty with penmanship,  and restricting coordination needed to type.
My fortitude limits everything I do, including thought processes and tasks requiring executive functioning.  The way aging is tearing down my abilities leads me in a state of depression.  Since I live independently, I worry about my near future, and my anxiety soars.
I don't know what is going to happen. Physically and mentally,  I am fading. It's reminding me now is the time to accomplish all I want to do. Mainly, leaving a legacy. 

Suicide Ends and Continues

The Senator Responded to my Medicare Story!

A few days ago, I was on the news complaining my SSDI is being cut because the State of Florida refused to cover Medical Premiums. Today, the Senator responded.

News Link

Social Security Mistake Brings Peace

Going on the third week after receiving the Social Security letter informing me not only would my SSDI be cutting my monthly income by nearly 25%, my June check will barely cover my rent since they are taking out the total overpayments in one check.

To say I have been petrified is an understatement. I am alone meaning I have no relatives to help me. In fact, I have 6 major disabilities where I struggle with and daily living activities are challenging. The older I get, the less control I have over my body. Fortunately, I have been independent for my entire adult life, but my body is declining. Since I fall approximately twice per week, I have a Service Dog named, Jireh, meaning "the Lord will Provide". Jireh has been with me over 7 years and is truly my best friend. She goes everywhere with me, and is my life companion. With this cut in my check, I can't afford to keep Jireh. I will barely receive enough money to pay rent and electricity. 

So I made plans to send Jireh to a good friend who has money to take care of her as she deserves. As for me, I planned to lay in bed for the rest of my life.

There is one caveat- I dedicated my life to Jesus on May, 15, 1983. My life is not my life... I gave my life to Jesus, meaning I strive to follow Him and glorify God with my life.

This means I can't wave the white flag and give up. Period. No exceptions.

Fortunately, some extraordinary friends have stepped up and agreed to help me cover June's bills. Also, I have a few credentials, such as being a Licensed Mental Health Counselor,  a Biblical scholar and a published author of several books and numerous technical papers.

This morning, my infinite number of calls and emails resulted in a Social Security Supervisor calling me to set up a court hearing. An hour later, I understood Social Security made a mistake 3 months ago in increasing my income. Since then, my rent has increased by $70. It's a mess.

Bottom line - After hearing the lady trying every resource to help me (all of which I have contacted to no avail), a sense of resolution washed over me. I interrupted her and said, "Ma'am...I hear you trying everything to help me, and I am so thankful for that. An honest mistake was made. I am not eligible for the income I have been receiving."... she replied, "I am so sorry... I am trying everything to help you..." I stopped her by continuing, "Ma'am, you have helped me mentally. You have explained the situation and tried everything you could. Thank you. I am going to be fine. I have a strong faith in God, and He has taken care of me my entire life. God has this," and I thanked her again, wishing her a great day.

Some people will think that is giving up. But no... for me, I got the chance to glorify God. And with my time and talents, I will earn extra money freelance writing about how amazing God is. After all, that is why I was created.

You Forget Who I Am- link

Posted on new blog. Please check it out here.

You Forget Who I Am https://christianbohemian.blog/2018/05/20/you-forget-who-i-am/

Here's My Story

Click here for story.

News Interview on my Social Security Cut

Since I cannot live off the updated amount of my Disability check, I contacted news media. Here is a video I took with my phone.  I apologize for the low volume and poor quality. If I can get a clip from the station, I will post.

My appeal was denied. I am scared because none of my relatives support me, and my sweet friends cannot help me on a regular basis.

I know God has me. Yet, I am very scared. This isn't how I imagined my life. I have been hugging my pillow, laying in a ball and crying. I am petrified.

Laying in a ball doesn't help change my situation, so I am trying to immerse myself in writing.

There is no option to appeal again. This isn't about Disability Determination. I have emailed the reporter asking who I have can contact at the Capital.

To be continued.