"I'll Pray for You" isn't Enough

I recently received some devastating news I am not ready to blog about yet.

But I found a timely blog explaining why I told people don't just say you are praying for me. Those  who know me know this is a time to not take anything personally. Like I just called my guy friend (who thinks I need to be in Orlando with friends right now) and warned him he is gonna have to deal with moody Shelly again. That's why I isolate - I lose my filter and say things I know I shouldn't. Sounds like he will go to the funeral with me. Warned him it'll be scarier than Halloween Horror Nights. *I have a cousin who is a prophetic Satan worshipper. I'm talking leaflets and everything!

So now I am going to try to convince God my plan is better, as if I know an inkling of the whole picture, only to have Him tell me a zillion reasons why I am wrong. He says in the Book of Job and Isaiah to come to Him and let us reason together... so that is what I will do... already knowing the outcome - His ways are higher than my ways, and He has plans for me far beyond my wildest dreams...





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I'll Pray For You

This is my favorite passage when people say they will pray for you and continue walking. I am in no way discounting the power of prayer, but sometimes, we need a bit more. If the person is willing to listen, tell them how they can help you. If you are the person wanting to help the depressed person, ask. "Is there anything I can do to help besides prayer?" Sometimes, all they can do is pray, and we really need to be thankful for that. We really need to be thankful if someone says they are thinking of us... we need to be thankful for whatever they can do. But try not to discount the power of prayer (as I am this morning). Prayers need to be followed by action... by whomever is praying.


James 2:14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Be Bold - A Coloring Devotional

Be Bold, a Coloring Devotional by Ellen Elliott is a book I was sent a complimentary copy to review for Tyndale Publishers. Here is my critique-

One day when I was feeling overwhelmed, I picked up this book for a morning devotional. To my surprise,  I was greatly comforted. The scripture verse was Nehemiah 8:10, which says the joy of the Lord is my strength, which compares choosing our outfit to choosing our moods. Initially, I disagreed with the author because I experience bouts of major clinical depression and become frustrated when people tell me to `snap out it` or `just get happy’. As a Licensed Therapist myself,  I find it insulting when people are so closed-minded about mental health.  As I was coloring the adjoining coloring page, my mind went into a free-association mode as I became childlike in my actions and thoughts. The facing coloring page allowed me to let go of my worries and stress.

This book is simple yet wonderfully therapeutic,  enhancing personal growth. Not only did the devotional coloring book lift the burdens from my shoulders, I look forward to using the book for daily devotionals. Reading a lesson for life, then pondering the message as I color. I become childlike,  and now understand more fully why Jesus said we must become like children to enter the Kingdom of heaven. I highly recommend this book for readers who want to surrender their daily worries to focus on God’s Word.

Remember *reposted

Writing for my blog:
Forcing myself to sit and write without any set agenda except to write. My purpose is to write. I am a writer. I am writing.

"Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to this world, do you submit to its rules: Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch"?  - Colossians 2:20,21.

Life changes when you become a Christian. Since college, on my day planner, I daily write "WHAT TRULY MATTERS?" as a reminder life is precious. I'm especially realizing this as I reread my old journals and find I recorded stupid stuff like what my crush wore to school each day. Or some kid laughed when I fell. Thirty years later, who cares? What will happen today that seems so devastating to you, yet in 6 months, you won't even remember it? Do you watch the latest episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Or do you make a handmade card for your dear friend with cancer? Do you stay in bed, wallowing in bitterness? Or do you force yourself to write articles on ways God has blessed you?

What truly matters? Live on purpose. Find your passions and live them.

How do you want to be remembered? Let me share my list with you:
* Jesus is real to me. I feel Him in my presence. I have never questioned His existence. I believe all the hardships that happen in my life are signs He believes I will always follow Him. For those familiar with Job, I believe God has given Satan permission to "mess with me" because God knows I am strong enough in my faith that I can face anything with Christ. I hope I am not letting Him down.
* I am a fighter. Yes, I have multiple limitations which hem me in, but I believe many of them are to keep me from temptation. When I was homeless, if I didn't have cerebral palsy, who knows what I would have done for money. But because I see CP as a strike against men's attractions to me, certain options are off the table. AT THE SAME TIME, God showed me I don't give myself enough credit when I refused to sell myself to have heat and a safe place to live. God instilled morals in me.
* I also want to be remembered as a someone who never took people's kindness for granted. So many people have helped me, loved me, kept me going on when they didn't have to. I always pray God will bless them beyond belief since I have no way to express my gratitude.
* And I want to be seen as someone who, while she needed a little help, she did all she could to make her own way without taking handouts. God has given me so many gifts to use to bless others, and I want to do just that.
*Finally, I want to be remembered as a writer - recluse who loves the ocean, away from crowds and worldly distractions. This, I admit, can be for selfish reasons. I'm an advocate to the core, and when I see people being unfairly treated, I have difficulty balancing my role without personalizing  the circumstances. Then that steals my peace and interferes greatly with my health.

That is my list to guide me in my day to day activities. I don't do things as the world does. I don't float passively in the lazy river of society. I have died to the flesh and live for Christ.

Remember that.

Writing my novel

It's a good one!

No Regrets

As I write this, my immediate relatives are all together celebrating Father's Day. Tomorrow, they will all be together at the hospital as my dad has surgery to see if they can remove the cancer or if it has spread so bad it is inoperable. My dear friend came up from Orlando Wednesday to drive me to Nashville to be there. I was reminded the family is better without me, and I would have to stay in a hotel because I was not allowed in my parent's house. The past few days have been torture... I always thought in case of emergency, we would come together. I was wrong.

Reflecting back, I am so proud of my education, my faith, my beliefs. I turned down 3 marriage proposals because I plan on growing my entire life and wanted nothing or no one to stop me.

Yes, it hurts. Yes, I am devastated. But I have no regrets.

The Rest of My Life

As I write this, my immediate relatives are all together celebrating Father's Day. Tomorrow, they will all be together at the hospital as my dad has surgery to see if they can remove the cancer or if it has spread so bad it is inoperable. My dear friend came up from Orlando Wednesday to drive me to Nashville to be there. I was reminded the family is better without me, and I would have to stay in a hotel because I was not allowed in my parent's house. The past few days have been torture... I always thought in case of emergency, we would come together. I was wrong.

Reflecting back, I am so proud of my education, my faith, my beliefs. I turned down 3 marriage proposals because I plan on growing my entire life and wanted nothing or no one to stop me.

Yes, it hurts. Yes, I am devastated. But I have no regrets.

Who I Am

A favorite poem written by me...

Unrecognized reflection stared back at me.

It looked like an erosion of who I should be.

Bags under my eyes, tired and weary-

Who is this girl –anxious and teary?

Fighting the authentic whom the world won’t accept-

Fighting the ‘me’ – whom my family rejects.

But I can’t change, I won’t change – God’s creation I am.

I refuse to give up because of my fam!