Silence - Poem

Coming from a place of pain, all I can do is sleep. It hurts to be.
It hurts to write.
It hurts to know pain won't end tonight.
It hurts to talk.
It hurts to be still.
It hurts knowing relationships have changed against my will.
It hurts not saying the words
Letting them know I am through.
Having them wonder what went wrong is such an unfair thing to do.
Yet words left unsaid
Ultimately spares them more pain.
There's no reason to stay when I have no way to explain.
It hurts I'm a stranger
to the girl in the mirror.
And it hurts so intensely
merely being here.

Shedding

Not knowing myself, not liking myself,
Either way... I feel quite strange.
Learning and growing, implementing and knowing -
Evidently, resulting in change.
Shedding the past, this persona will last,
Leaving life chunky behind.
No one needs to understand, what I feel is God's plan,
As I step into this life chapter of mine.

Poem - Shellyland

Shellyland

Really, I should care, I have not washed my hair.
My looks – I am aware, simply I DON’T CARE!
Just leave me with my Mac. Eventually, I’ll be back-
Escaping into my mind, where there is no such thing as time.
No pettiness, no shallowness…goal of purpose is mine.
Why am I here? What can I do? To better this world for me and for you?
Your foolish arguments, causing me rage… no more from me, I refuse to engage.
I struggle with Christ keeping me grounded, when my fleshly nature becomes expounded.
You can’t join me, you do not belong… still, don’t judge me as if I’m wrong.
Washing my hair? Oh, PLEASE! I’m too busy on my knees.

Morning Poem

Scattered, where do I start? Jesus, Lord, speak to me…
Protect and guide my heart.
I come to you this day,
Please. Light my every way.
Keep me single-minded…
Sp often I need reminded.

This life is yours on borrow.
You own my today and tomorrow.
Lead me on… I’ll follow.

Revamping My Writing Career

A new season... literally! I've decided to stop looking back and strictly focus on my future... especially my faith. My health will not allow me to work a conventional job, but fortunately, I have been a freelance writer for years. I just haven't put too much energy into it. Although I have numerous publications, my publisher is lacking in timely Commission checks. Because Jireh went to the vet, needing medications and a toy to cheer her up, I am facing a month with no food or money. But, JIREH FEELS BETTER, and that's PRICELESS. 

Long story short, it's time to find a new publisher. And while I am at it, it's time to reapproach my writing career with definite changes. So if you are reading this entry and would like to exchange page links, I will connect readers to your blog if you return the favor.

My background is a licensed mental health counselors and Certified Rehabilitation  Counselor with extensive knowledge and experience in numerous psychological & physical conditions. 

At the age of 8, I began writing journals with poetry and I have continued for 40 years.

Currently, I am writing a textbook on aging with disabilities, a Bible study, and a collection of poetry. 

If you're a writer, please, introduce yourself. If you're a publisher, please email me at Shellyfsu@gmail.com. 

Nice to meet you!

Who I Am

A favorite poem written by me...

Unrecognized reflection stared back at me.

It looked like an erosion of who I should be.

Bags under my eyes, tired and weary-

Who is this girl –anxious and teary?

Fighting the authentic whom the world won’t accept-

Fighting the ‘me’ – whom my family rejects.

But I can’t change, I won’t change – God’s creation I am.

I refuse to give up because of my fam! 

Poem - Seas

Progressing along...
When land was no longer in sight, she threw down the anchor and penned these words:

The vast, great sea. My companions and me.

Away from "all them". Watching 3 dolphins swim.

God's greatest creation! A sea-life formation!

So thankful to visit, a place so exquisite.

Careful not to intrude, silently subdued.

Respecting the ocean, her boat rocked in slow-motion.

Poem - Letting Go

2 Years Ago https://secure.shoeboxapp.com/photo/02514eadbf633a26e412ccb48be233d7f92debd2c0fe5d36c89513a4dcc36b3802

Poem - Rain

Rain

Protection, safety, soaking up the gloom.
Frosted windows guarding the room.
Raindrops falling from infinity above,
Quiet, tranquil... embracing the love.

Jesus is here speaking to me,
Without His presence, broken I'd be.
He's given me everything for my worries to cease. 
Nothing compares with His unfathomable peace.

Sometimes you have to block out the world

LA LA LA

Can't get into rhythm of writing due to all the world's distractions.

But I can't let my audience down. So... what to write...?

How 'bout a poem?

Mental illness, depression...
Artful expression...
Biblical meaning,
God's glory beaming.
Disability related-
Ocean elated.
All this things I write about -
Yet impossible when my muse's  without...

Leaving a Friend

I can only tell you so many times,
Can only write you so many rhymes.
If my words don't convince you of my heart,
I see no solution, albeit to part.
Over and over, my soul reveals,
The thoughts I think, the feelings I feel.
I can't keep trying to proclaim the facts,
It should be evident by the manner I act.
My feelings are done - I must depart.
First you stole... now you broke my heart.