Monday, February 19, 2018


My personal experiences with PTSD and sexual abuse.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Traveling with Disabilities - Rejuvenate Ur Life

I am very excited to introduce my first guest blogger - Shelly Weiss. Shelly Weiss is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor/Consultant who was born with Cerebral Palsy. She has more than 30 years working in the disability community, including keynote presentations all over the country. Shelly shared with me a wonderful experience she had at the Bohemian Hotel Celebration and I asked her if she would share it with all of you. [  606 more words ]

Rejuvenate Your Life - The Bohemian Celebration Hotel

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Ways to Handle Opposition

You can "love thy neighbor" without going into their house.  Smile, wave, and keep walking. The Bible has so many verses on how to respond to enemies. By enemies, I mean those who distract you from following God, living for Christ, and keeping the peace. At the end of this post, I will list several verses to memorize when faced with opposition.

Of course, my first response is to fight back. I can hold my own in an argument, largely because the little girl in me has learned to keep walls up, not emotionally investing in people as I stay at home with writing, books, and God's Word. This has been my chosen lifestyle for most of my adult life, until my dad died a few months ago. My mother and brothers are extremely toxic to me, thus I assumed if my own blood can treat me so terribly, I have no interest in socializing.

My purpose here is to glorify God. He has gifted me with writing talent, Biblical understanding, and Spiritual guidance. Also, the older I get, the less ability I have to get out due to worsening of multiple chronic illnesses (both physical and mental). Inevitably, when I force myself to socialize, I poop my pants (Crohn's Disease), fall (Cerebral Palsy), and end potential relationships (PTSD, Major Depression, Agoraphobia).

God has convinced me it's His will I spend my days writing, reading, and worshipping while enjoying His undeniable peaceful presence. And I love that lifestyle.  I am immensely grateful He has made this possible for me.

Even though I gave up toxic relationships for lent, political actions including making changes to the Americans with Disabilities Act had me glued to social media. Well, I can officially say Facebook is dangerous to my health. Without the Lord reminding me "By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another" - John 13:35, I stopped in my tracks, filled with shame and repentance from my thoughts, actions, and comments.

Satan knows each of our vulnerabilities. One of mine is injustice and prejudice, especially against people with disabilities. I was close to a meltdown yesterday... a full-blown  meltdown. The things I said to people were NOT filled with love. And my thoughts were pure MEAN!

When did I forget God will always be the  King of the world? (Natalie Grant).

I shut off Facebook, and remembered Joshua 1:8 - "Do not let this Book of Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.".

I remember the people bashing me, and ask God for His power to "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:36.

I  vowed to "Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." - Psalm 34:14, knowing the Lord of peace himself will give me peace at all times and in every way (2 Thessalonians 3:16).

And with that, I learned to avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly (2 Timothy 2:16). 

No longer will I engage in ignorant discussions. Instead, I call my Congressmen, express my concerns, and leave the rest to God. 

This will save both my time and sanity.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Rant Against People's Ignorance

Toxic Relationships

*I am using this letter to a friend to explain my release from family drama. Just because your parents are your parents, if it is a toxic relationship, you need to let them go.

No one and nothing is worth your sanity.

By the way, there has been a lapse in my writing the past few days because of toxic relationships. By tending to toxic relationships, I have neglected the friends, work and quiet time that fulfills my quality of life.

Went to Walmart and got generic food... my fridge is full. It's beyond comforting to look in my pantry and find food. It's like a life raft. I agreed to write for a travel blog on how hotels are accommodating to people with disabilities. I need to catch up my own blogs after getting behind from crashing over the weekend. 

Relatives are calling me and I finally got to the point of being honest when they ask where I have been for 30 years. They tell me my mom always said "Shelly isn't speaking to me", so last night, I told my cousin everything. Everything. From when mom butt called me and I overheard her saying how horrible I am, to trying to commit me, to sitting there when Mikie went to punch me, to not letting me stay with my dad on his death bed. So, yes, she was right saying "Shelly isn't speaking to me". And I explained why.

And my cousin CRIED, saying she had no idea, and how have I survived? And I said I kept going back to her until New Year's Eve, when I wrote her off forever. And I have never felt freer.

I have you and wonderful people in my life. And I have never felt more loved, or healthier.

We have to let go of the past for our own sanity. And God blesses us by filling our opened heart with people who love and treat us as we deserve.

Thank you for showing me the love of Christ. I love you, and trust Jesus more than ever.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Crohns Disease Stinks

Crohn's Disease is awful. Diagnosed 32 years ago, and I still hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT! My Crohn's impacts my small intestine (the ileum), which currently has a blockage and food cannot pass. Imagine a water hose filled with cement except for a single, miniscule pinhole. All the water backs up, causing pressure, while water slowly,  continuously flows out of the pinhole.  That's me, right now. Laying around hugging my knees from the pain, wearing a diaper for the leakage.

There is no way to predict when a Crohn's attack will occur, nor how long it will last. Causes include spicy foods, lettuce, peanuts, and strangely for me, frappicinos (I call them “crappicinios"). Surgically removing the blocked area is common, but since the blockage can impact another part of the intestine, I always refuse surgery. The small intestine is 20 feet long, so if I had the blockage removed every time I get sick, I won't have a small intestine and would need a drainage bag. You can read more information on Healthline and searching for Crohn's Disease.

For me, there is a direct correlation between stress/emotions and Crohn's. Having commitments stress me out, even commitments I want to attend.  Also, there's a few interpersonal conflicts occurring with me as I grow into my next chapter.

More soon. For now, I need a nap.

Don't forget to click on the right hand link of to donate for me to get a needed puppy to train before Jireh retires. Thank you.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

New YouTube Video

In this video, I discuss the need for a new service dog puppy to train before Jireh retires,  the impact cerebral palsy has on my stamina and other age related topics. Click the link.