Cleaning the Mind with Journaling

As we end another year, we reflect on the past, and look ahead to the future. I am sad to leave my old planner/journal behind, and am intimidated by the empty pages of my crisp, clear planners.

Every year, I start my new journal with "I wonder if I will be alive at the end of this journal..."

Spent ALL DAY YESTERDAY and the past 4 hours on the new blog.

Very frustrated I have just started my New Year's traditions of intense journaling, goal setting, making a 2017 collage and 2018 Dream Board. My brother and I had a tradition of journaling together every New Year's Eve as far back as middle school. I am irritated that I am behind in my routine. I have to calm down, get before Jesus, and seek His will for me in 2018. Today and tomorrow are definitely days of avoiding interruptions. Besides that... Happy New Year!

Preparing for the Hurricane

Meditating on God's promises...

Bible Journaling

Whenever a verse speaks to me, I journal the date and event in my Bible. I just did this with the verse referenced in my Birthday card. This is my third journaling Bible. I have filled the first two with thoughts and feelings. This Bible is my letter back to God. I started Beth Moore's new Bible Study, "The Quest", which is PRECISELY about what I am doing.

Remembering, and An Apology

There's a program on my Tablet which shows photos on what happened on this day in years past. Bittersweet memories with people I was once so close to, such great times, and now few of them are in my life. Initially, I was blaming how disloyal people are until I remembered a conversation with a friend.

She recently told me I basically wrote her off! Here I had wondered why she backed away from our friendship. She told me I only wanted to talk to Cathy and for her to back off. I didn't believe her until she showed me texts I had sent her, mean texts, texts that embarrassed me. I honestly had no recollection of my cruelty. To friends reading this, I am so sorry if I hurt you.

Please believe me when I say a decade of taking psychotropic medications have damaged my brain. Recently, I scrapbooked my most recent birthday. I turned 47. Flipping through the pages days later, I was surprised to see I had titled it 'My 37th birthday'! And another day, I was watching my favorite TV show, "In Treatment", which is about the life of a psychotherapist in private practice. I was thinking maybe I could go back to college to study psychology. About 30 minutes later, I remembered I AM a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and I have spent several years in private practice.

Okay, this is scary.

I must remember I don't know what I have told who. Thank You, Lord... for protecting me from painful realities, and for a comfortable environment for me to live with my girls. From now on, I will be adamant about recording everything. Keeping detailed records. Write things down. Journal, journal, journal. And keep moving forward.