Stars, Family, and a Tire

Jesus has me crying! He loves me sooo much, He brought me home safely. This morning, I went to check my car to see if I had any cash to pay a $27 bill due in 2 weeks. It seems my electric company AND PayPal made multiple charges "by accident" *Karen is my witness... it was NOT my fault. PayPal is reimbursing my bank, but the electric company said they could only credit my electric account. So my balance is under $500 and my $745 rent check hasn't posted yet. I cancelled everything so I will only have one overdraft fee. THE DEVIL AIN'T GONNA STEAL MY JOY! So I find EXACTLY $27 cash to pay my bill. *You tell me that's not God!!! I also found a flat tire with an inch hole in it. GOD PROTECTED ME FROM A TIRE BLOW OUT ON THE ROAD! I WAS GOING 85 MPH YESTERDAY! See, God AIN'T letting me go to heaven until it's HIS timing.

I called roadside assistance, and Sue... (I don't know about car stuff... my daddy took care of my car). Even though Sue and Jim are on vacation, they dropped everything to take care of me like family. They told the mechanic what to do, Sue offered to pay him, but he refused to charge me. Sue and I prayed over the phone, both of us crying, thanking Jesus. I can imagine my Heavenly Father with my daddy smiling down at Sue and Jim.

Oh, I told the mechanic I just got home from meeting Reba. He thought that was cool. I said, "Sunday, I met a Country star, and today, I met you... a Rock star.".

Understanding Not Understanding

Please hang in there as I transition to my new blog. I need to make it more thorough so please keep checking this blog for new posts until I finish setting it up. 

New Post here 

Lost, Rather FOUND

I've had significant life changes recently, triggering PTSD, anxiety and depression. The anxiety has taken over a chunk of my days as I leave behind the familiar (albeit, dysfunctional) to a new phase.

My mother's birthday was a few days ago, and I thought how she'd be relieved if she no longer had to deal with her "vile" daughter (her description of me) would be the perfect birthday gift. Ironically, Bobby Bowden's birthday is the same day. I realized I am no longer  (was I ever?) part of the genetic family, Rather, I am part of my Tallahassee family. (Coach Bowden's IS Tallahassee.).

After trying to go back to Central Florida for the holidays, I have decided to stay here. In fact, I am finding peace and comfort in my soul, where I am ultimately part of God's family.

He is showing me it's all Him. I am His. I have no reason to fear, for nothing and no one can touch me without going through Him. He is in my tomorrow's, as He was in my past. He never changes - which gives ME the confidence to change. To be even more authentic. To disregard societal expectations. I am finding myself lost in my thoughts, my own little world... rather, my Father's world. Thy will be done.

Freedom From Guilt

I had a wonderful day with Jesus... my depression is gone!
He showed me I am excited because I'm spending eternity in heaven... how can I be depressed when I have THE ULTIMATE to look forward to? Going to Heaven! My depression is gone! Not only that, all my life, I have felt indebted to my mom for sacrificing her life for me... she continues to treat me like crap, and today,  after she hurt me by treating me like a burden,  Jesus told me I am NEVER a burden to Him, He is NEVER too busy for me, and...HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR ME!!! PRAISE GOD! I owe my life to Jesus, NOT my mom! Those chains have been broken! I'm free!

So are you. If you have accepted the Lord as your Savior, you are not stuck in any relationship... you are free to live for Jesus... and He loves you more than you can even fathom.