Mid-Life Crisis

And the transition into my authentic self continues. Liberating to discover who I have become… more emotional than I anticipated. Letting go of what no longer fits into my lifestyle.  At times, I want to go back for the sake of comfort. There's a vast existential hole leading to loneliness.  Pushing through the pain leads me to cry out to Jesus,  making the hurts worth it. He remains the same.  Never changing is The Rock I hold on to while the world continually changes.
I find it crucial to surround myself with people who inspire me to be who I was created to be, actively doing what I was created to do. Wanting to be like Jesus, I am spending quality time getting to know Him, sitting silently as I listen for His soft voice. And this guides me in my transition as my priority is letting go of ALL that is not of Him.  Jesus is my compass as I follow the desires He places in my heart.

2 Corinthians 5:17 – “If anyone is in Christ,  there is a new creation.”.

Silence - Poem

Coming from a place of pain, all I can do is sleep. It hurts to be.
It hurts to write.
It hurts to know pain won't end tonight.
It hurts to talk.
It hurts to be still.
It hurts knowing relationships have changed against my will.
It hurts not saying the words
Letting them know I am through.
Having them wonder what went wrong is such an unfair thing to do.
Yet words left unsaid
Ultimately spares them more pain.
There's no reason to stay when I have no way to explain.
It hurts I'm a stranger
to the girl in the mirror.
And it hurts so intensely
merely being here.