Upbeat Update

The following is from a Facebook response I posted… it pretty much sums up where I am now. God spoke to me in a HUGE way… He has given me strength, hope, and determination that I have been lacking for a long time. Yesterday, an elder and church staff member dropped everything just to listen to me. THAT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME! I don’t expect people to do that all the time. I know the world doesn’t revolve around me. Maybe because after 21 years of being on antidepressants, I have been off of them for a month… I felt emptier, lonelier, and more disposable than ever. I didn’t want to go to church, yet I knew God would show up… and He did. This is a summation of what happened:

I attend a great church now and had a long talk with an elder and staff yesterday. That helped TREMENDOUSLY. I told them how alone I felt and I don't even have an emergency contact... they gave me THREE emergency contact numbers! I told them how hard it is is not to have a family or close friends... like who would have my funeral if I die? They said, "We will... we are your family. That is what we are trying to tell you!". I barely receive enough money to pay my medical costs and refuse to keep taking 'hand outs', so they are giving me ways to 'earn money' to cover bills until I get back on my feet. They are amazing. I'm using this for my blog because I finally have hope again. I go to the doctor tomorrow; and the psychiatrist talked last time about sending me to intensive 6 months treatment to deal with my issues, but after talking to Lee and Cheryl, I feel strong enough to do this... I can fight the loneliness, meet new people, keep serving at my church, write my way out of poverty, and FIGHT. Going into the hospital would be the wimpy thing to do. I AM A CHILD OF ALMIGHTY GOD!! I DON'T GIVE UP! Don't you give up either! If you feel hopeless and DO want to give up, visit my blog, Believe in Grace. I have a lot of work to add to it, yet am aiming it to readers with no one to talk to, nowhere to turn...