Reading the blog I wrote a year ago where I was down to three friends and complaining about that fact. Yesterday, I realized I  have no close friends, at least not in the definition I consider 'close friends'. Someone who will spend time with me without looking at their watch... If you remember in school, I always had friends. Not anymore. And I am not blaming them, I am the one who walked away this time for various reasons. The friends I had (except Jen), I don't want their friendships back. I'd like to meet people who understand me, who invite me to fun things, who don't freak out when I am having a bad day..... it hurts knowing I  have no emergency contact.... but then again, Jesus is my emergency contact. Pray He brings me a best friend and a boyfriend who will love me for me. My heart has been hurting.

And last January - I HAD NO ONE and NO FRIENDS, a crappy residence, a creepy landlord, no money, no publisher... the worst time of my life... and look how God turned my life around! There's a LOT of people out there I haven't met... God has new friends and people out there. Before then, I will focus completely on Jesus - the best friend of all time.

Finally, one of the friends I wrote off told me I didn't know how to treat friends. Perhaps that is correct, yet I  believe if I had the friends who treated me like a true friend, I would treat my friends like gold. I could give examples, but why bash her? I am above that. I apologized for hurting her and that is all I can do. In fact, I apologized to everyone I hurt, and I am at peace about that.